Showing posts with label sunless tan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sunless tan. Show all posts

Monday, May 19, 2014

Sweet Brown: How To Get The Perfect Fake Tan. Every. Time.

Let me start out by saying this is a process; a commitment to being bronzed (not that paleness is bad!) that cannot be half-assed. If you are someone who is committed to staying sun-safe, but has a hard time living life in the pale-lane, than follow these steps to the perfect sunless tan. This method is tried and true by yours truly and friends and family can confirm that that tan looks real and in no way freakishly orange.

Ingredients For The Perfect Tan:
Tanning Mousse
Tanning Mitt
Rubber/Nitrile Gloves (in a size that fits your hand snugly!)
Exfoliating (Hammam) Mitt
Thick Moisturizer
A Cool, Dry Room To Apply Your Tan

ITEM 1
Long Live The Mousse:
I can honestly say that the only way to fake-tan is with a sunless tanning mousse. I have tried the gradual lotions, I have tried the funky brown lotions with a color-guide, I've done the sprays. The Mousse is top-dog for two reasons: 1.) It dries very quickly which keeps you from getting hot which can lead to tan-ruining sweat, and 2.) It allows you to use the ultimate tanning applicator: THE MITT (which I'll get to later). There are many mousses that I like, but I'll give you my absolute favorites:

St. Tropez Bronzing Mousse $42
Vita Liberata pHenomenal 2-3 Week Tan Mousse $54
St. Moritz Instant Self Tanning Mousse $5

ITEM 2
The Mitt:
I used to think the tanning mitt was a waste of money. What better applicator than my gloved hands, right? WRONG. I pray at the alter of the tanning mitt and I will never turn back. It makes your applications totally flawless; it totally gets rid of any streakiness that can be cause by using your hands. Now, that doesn't mean you don't wear gloves because the tanner can soak through the mitt and deposit unwanted color on your fingers. Another mitt I recommend the committed tanner purchase is an exfoliating mitt or hammam glove. These gloves are used in Turkish spas by big burly dudes to scrub all you dead (and living) skin off your body leaving you dead-skin free! These are a little more economical than body scrubs which literally get washed down the drain when you're done with them. With the hammam glove, you get the same exfoliation or better without buying more body scrubs!
St. Moritz Tanning Mitt $5

Hammam Glove $20
THE PROCESS
Exfoliate and Shave:
Always exfoliate before you shave. It bristles up any hairs that may be a tad ingrown and makes for a smoother shave. Focus on feet, knees, and elbows which are notorious for being dry, but scrub the rest of your body too! After you exfoliate, shave any bits you want to shave and then give yourself a wash with some body wash in-case you use an oily shaving cream. You want your body devoid of excess moisture which can cause an uneven tan.

Dry Off and Moisturize:
Make sure you are completely dry before you moisturize and tan. If you need to leave your humid bathroom environment, DO IT. Once you are dry, put a thick, creamy moisturizer on the driest parts of your body that could possibly hold more tanner than necessary: toes/feet, ankles, knees, elbows, knuckles, the big five!

Glove-Up:
Always wear gloves when applying tanner or else your hands will look like you've colored them in with a brown Sharpie. I wear nitrile (non latex) disposable gloves from work in the appropriate size (small). Big, floppy gloves will only result in a very frustrating experience. Put your tanning mitt over your gloved hand and start with two pumps of your tanning mousse of choice. 

Tan Time:
Start at the feet and blend your tanner everywhere it needs to go. Work your way up the leg and so-forth. Once you get to the point where you need to tan your back, flip the applicator side of your mitt so that it sits on the top of your hand and swipe it across your back like you're trying to get at an itch. Switch the mitt to the other hand and do the same thing to get the places you couldn't get with the other hand. If you have a shoulder injury or can't move your arm that way, get someone to help you!

Post-Tanning:
No physical activity! Any sweat or excess water will jack up all your had work. Your best bet is to tan the night before you want to be bronze and let the tan develop overnight. Tanners will stain light-colored sheets so sleep on a towel or switch to some darker sheets ( I told you it's a process)! When you wake up, you'll be a bronze goddess! Many tanners recommend you shower off any color guides (brown residue) after your tan develops or else you'll get brown stains on your clothes. 

END RESULT: Enjoy Your Tan!
If you want a darker tan, apply more tanner the next morning and avoid any moisure-filled activites. I wasn't kidding when I said it was a process, but this is what I do. If you don't have this much time on your hands, go get a professional spray tan. If you don't have enough time for that, I'm out of ideas. When I explain my process to people, it's almost always overwhelming, but I want to be transparent as to how I achieve the best sunless tan I can get. Once you get the process down, it's not really a big deal and the benefits outweigh the hassle! 

If there are any other questions you may have about my process, leave a question in the comments section and I'll get right on it! I don't think fake tanning is a hassle; if I can still look tan without risking my health, I'm all for it! Forget the hours of sunbathing or money spent at a tanning salon and tan the safe way!

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Monday, May 13, 2013

Maypril Favorites!

Maypril Favorites!

Maypril Favorites! by elbonner featuring evening makeup

All right x3 like Matthew Mconaughey, it's time for some Maypril favorites! I'm calling it "Maypril" because it's too late for April's and too early for all of May's. Here we go!

Insanity- HOLY SHIT THIS IS HARD. For real, if you're not dying by the end of one of these workouts then you're a ubermensch or you're just watching them on the sofa eating pizza rolls. This is a 60 day program that is full-on High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) which is what I love, but have never pushed myself to this level of workout commitment. There's lots of jumping around, so those with joint problems, heart,problems, and any problem that could cause you to die during intense exercise should think long and hard about starting this program. I've started my third week and I've lost 5 lbs. without a huge change in diet. If you want to fit, get this!

Organix Moroccan Surf Paste- Beachy hair is all I've ever wanted and this product does the trick. It has moisturizing argan oil that doesn't make hair dry or brittle when using it. It has a little salt for texture, but is a lot more gentle than some beach sprays.

Veggie Straws-Dump the chips and get some of these! At 130per 37 straws, there's really no reason to even go back to greasy, nasty chips. They're lightly salted, taste like potatoes, and super crunchy. If you've got a chip craving and just can't shake it, get some Veggie Straws.

Under Armour "Amour" Sports Bra- because Insanity requires me to jump around more than I ever have, I needed to replace my crappy, unsupportive sports bras with something that holds shit down. This bra, designed by a bunch of female scientists was heavily tested and made for extreme activity. Great for running too; there is not a lot of bounce and keeps yo' boobies from getting soaked, because no one wants that (perverts)!

Cut-Off Shorts- not just for Never Nudes (May 26th!), it's the summer of cut-offs and I've been hastily making all the shorts I hate, but can't afford to throw out custom cut-offs. DIY post is coming soon!

Suki Exfoliating Cleanser- Smells like Lemon Heads, foams, exfoliates, cleanses; it does the lot. On nights where I just need to scrub I use this super face and earth friendly cleanser and waft in its lemony goodness.

Burts Bees Cocoa and Cupuacu Butter Richly Replenishing Body Moisturizer- Damn, that's one long name! My Aveeno was getting too thick for the warmer weather and picked this up at Target to try. Mostly all-natural ingredients and moisturizes without feeling like you're wearing liquid latex. And most importantly, does not make your butt sweat for half an hour after you put it on!

Fake Bake Flawless Sunless Tanner- My new tanning love; this formula comes with a mitt and nitrile gloves to help evenly distribute the tanner. THE MITT REIGNS SUPREME, even above my own hands in tanner application and this formula makes you dark instantly. It stays on for days and doesn't give me an allergic reaction like Xen-Tan does. And get this, IT'S ONLY $14. Just buy it, stop being dumb and just buy it already!

Lean Cuisine Five-Cheese Rigatoni- So much cheese, so well-portioned and friggin delicious. Any more cheese and it would have been fartmageddon. Viva los Lean Cuisines!

Rainbow Sandals- I wear these pretty much every day that the weather allows. They're supportive, soft, comfortable, and are great for walking in. Rainbows are, by-far, my favorite shoe.

MARGARITAS- They are my favorite drink, I make them all the time, I get them all the time.If I wasn't freaked out by their calories content and had access to them 24/7,  I would be an alcoholic. Don't do that, just appreciate at the right times: out celebrating with friends, relaxing after a long week, or when you hand-squeeze everything and take the effort to make them yourself!

Hope you liked my Maypril favorites. I'm going to do a "misses" post about stuff I hate. Prepare for the bitching! Later Gators!