Spring Favorites!

Spring Favorites by elbonner featuring plus size tops

Every beauty-related YouTube phenomenon has made some sort of monthly favorites video. I usually don't go for that sort of thing because I feel as though it promotes irresponsible spending and rampant materialism, but then I remind myself, I HAVE A BLOG THAT IS ALMOST ENTIRELY ABOUT THE ACT OF WANTING AND/OR HAVING STUFF. I can go ahead see myself out of the self-righteous, a-hole door and do my own monthly favorites post featuring a wide breadth of things I have encountered and liked in the month of March. 

Chobani Greek Yogurt: I love Greek yogurt, I eat it almost every morning for breakfast and since my neighborhood grocery store had fruit-flavored Chobanis on sale for 5-for-$5, you bet your ass I got like 10 of them. My only beef is that all the fruit is on the bottom, and I can't understand why they can't just mix it in. It pains me to have to do it myself, how much can a yogurt/fruit mixer cost Chobani?! Why must you make me work to enjoy you?! My favorite flavors: passion fruit, blood orange, banana, and good ol' strawberry! At 140 calories per container they make a great add-on when your Lean Cuisine just ain't cuttin' it!

Kate Somerville"ExfoliKate":I have said this before; this stuff literally eats your face. Not the way a ravenous zombie on AMC does, but the enzymes, along with scrubbies, get off all the dead skin and make you feel like you took the skin off of someones face that you thought was better than yours and replaced it with theirs. Wow, lots of cannibalistic zombie references in that one, must mean it's good stuff!

Target Stuff: Target can do almost no wrong this season. I have bought so much crap from them I'm almost embarrassed to walk in the store because I'm just plastered in their stuff. It's like wearing the t-shirt of a band you're going to see to their concert. My mom (a school teacher) recently alerted me that the cool kids all wear miss-matched socks and of course Target, being its awesome self, is selling packs of even numbered, obnoxiously colored socks. Just how I like them! Now I have an excuse to look like I dressed in the dark, because I actually do! PS- I'm wearing that ombre sweatshirt RIGHT NOW! #ballerstatus

Tone It Up "Beach Babe Workout": Guess who's feeling fat (points to self whilst crying). Instead of actually crying into a bowl of chocolate chips covered in Cool Whip Frosting, I've been working on my fitness with this great little video. I can mix things up since this video has 7 different mini workouts to choose from. They can be done individually if you really don't want to work out but are forcing yourself, or they have longer ones when you are actually motivated. Plus, it's set on a Hawaiian beach and the instructors hair is the stuff of legends.

H&M Conscious Collection: H&M has done something that every store I like should do: give me coupons for bringing them my old crap. H&M is taking your old clothes(2 shopping bags-worth per day) and giving you a 15% off coupon (good for one item) per bag of clothes! Your old clothes go in a box at the registers and are donated or recycled for use in other industries. The Conscious Collection is this seasons featured collection and it focuses on sustainable fashion. H&M was just named the biggest user of organic cotton simultaneously making their client happy and their competitors feel like panda-murderers. 

Lush "Uluru" Bath Bomb: This bath bomb transformed what could have been the most boring bath of all time, complete with amplified farts and ashamed at the cleanliness of my tub, into a sunset-hued, citrus dream-scape. I love fun bath things and this bath bomb is like about as much fun as an adult can have in the bathtub without Clueless playing on the iPad and a pint of Half-Baked.

Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco: Did you know you could get these inside of a Cheesy Gordita Crunch?! If you get them on their own, and skip lunch, you can technically justify eating 4 of these babiesand not feel like you're chair is about to give way. I say, forget the cheesy nacho Dorito taco, Cool Ranch is the only one worth getting. If you disagree, we can't be friends. 

I know, I know. It's not a typical monthly favorites where I swatch the 50 lipsticks, eye shadows, and blushes I put a second mortgage on my house to pay for, but this is what brought me joy in the month of March!  If this wasn't the most pointless thing you've ever read I can do this more often, but who knows, it could spiral down into dish soap and drain cleaner, not that there's anything wrong with that! Happy April Dudes!

PS- Here's a bonus photo of me in crazy glasses!

 (Instagram: @elbonner86)

Allow Me To Exfoliate...

Allow Me To Exfoliate... by elbonner featuring Clarisonic beauty products

Kate Somerville face care / Dr Dennis Gross Skincare bath body product / Ole Henriksen body cleanser, $135 / The Body Shop body cleanser / Body cleanser, $7.92 / Mario Badescu Skin Care body treatment / Elemis bath body product / Clarisonic beauty product, $285 / ALPHA beauty product / Origins beauty product

Exfoliation is the key to happiness. I know I already posted about my homemade scrub, but that's not the only exfoliator that I use to keep me silky smooth and baby-faced. It takes an arsenal of face and body care products to keep my annoying dry, flaky skin at bay and this is how I do it!

For may face, I've used a couple of exfoliators that I really enjoy. I've used grainy scrubs and acid-based products that eat my dull skin away for me. I like both for different reasons and use them at different times, but I will go over which and when once I get to the descriptions. So without further a-do I'll start my list:

Face Care

1. Origins Modern Friction. This face scrub is used on dry skin and it utilizes corn and rice granules to get you face funky fresh and soft. I use this primarily in the winter when my skin isn't sunburned or wind-chapped because this stuff is the real deal. Using it on dry skin is what makes it so effective and to make it a bit more gentle use it with water. Only use this scrub like 3 times a week because any more than that and you might not have any skin left on your face, Crypt Keeper. IT'S THAT INTENSE. Not really, but close!  

2. My next favorite is an acid-based exfoliator which is actually in a different container, but I couldn't find a decent picture for it. It's Alpha H's Liquid Gold with glycolic acid. This is worn at night after cleansing and it eats all of your dead skin away! Great in the summer time when you want to exfoliate,but are apprehensive because your skin might be a little sensitive because of sun damage. The only drawback is that if you want it to work you can't use a moisturizer with it, it's just like putting water on your face. So if you hate that not-moisturized feeling this might not be your best bet,but it makes your skin look awesome and really helps me with acne and blackheads.

3. This Glycolic Gel by Mario Badescu is a lot like the one from AlphaH, but in gel form. It's easier to get a hold of than Alpha H and is a big cheaper. It's worn every other night like Liquid Gold and has a bit lighter exfoliation.

4. ExfoliKate by Kate Sommerville is the whole shebang; grainy exfoliators, plus enzymes and acids to eat away all the nasties. This comes in the original formula as well as one suited for acne and a lightweight version for sensitive skin. I friggin' love this stuff, but the price tag is a bit steep. When you will stop at nothing to get smooth skin, go with this one.

Body Care

1. I love The Body Shop. They have singular scents that smell like the real deal and this coconut scrub is great fora light to moderate exfoliation. It smells like suntan lotion and doesn't leave you or your bathtub a greasy death trap. So if you want smooth skin and don't want your family to find your naked lifeless body positioned unattractively in the bathtub after you've fallen, get this scrub!

2. One of my pet peeves with sunless tanning is all the scrubbing I have to do to get all my rough spots soft again. This product exfoliates AND tans you AT THE SAME TIME. Dr. Dennis Gross's Alpha Beta Glow pads are available in body and facial sized cloths that get you tan and smooth at once and don't look orangey or fake.

3. Ole Henrikson's Rub'n'Buff is one of the best smelling and most effective body scrubs I've ever used. It smells clean and fresh and uses salt to scrub away grossness. It recommends you use it on dry skin and skin that hasn't recently been shaved or you'll be a'hurtin.

Tools!

1. GET A CLARISONIC. I can't stress it enough; it's a sonicare toothbrush for your face and every dentist on earth worth their potatoes uses a sonicare toothbrush. It doesn't spin, it sonically shakes the dirt off of your face. You can use this every night, it has brushes for every skin type and feels like a massage every time you use it. It only needs to be charged once every 6 weeks and the brush heads get changed every 3 months. Easy peasy!

2. Using a body brush before you shower or bathe has been said to up your circulation and reduce cellulite. It can't hurt to try. I can't say it has  made my cottage cheese disappear (I'm not afraid to admit it!), but it makes my skin and my keratosis pilaris (chicken skin) much much better. These can be found in just about any bath and body store, so if you want an exfoliation that really gets you to wake up try a dry brush.

3. Lastly, these gloves are all over the place and really do a good job when you're traveling. It's not a liquid so it's safe for the plane, you can use them on wet or dry skin, and then dry quickly so I like to have them when I go out of town instead of lugging another bottle of body scrub with me.

Well, that's my list. I hope it was helpful and gave you some news products to try out. Now get get out of here and scrub off!