"It's Never Gonna Happen" Christmas Wishlist by elbonner featuring studded boots
Like an unwanted display in Walgreens right after the 4th of July, I am debuting my incredibly unrealistic Christmas wishlist at the appropriate time of "it's not even Halloween yet, Emily!". This way if a sad billionaire sees it and take pity on me it might be my most successful Christmas haul since the last time my parents thought I deserved Christmas presents! Now, this is in no way supposed to make anyone feel poor or beneath me because I there is now way in hell I can afford these things, I just like them enough to want them in my closet without goings as far as brushing my teeth on paid webcams for weirdos.
Ance- Pistol Boots $570. You knew they'd be on here, and since Target has failed me in providing $30 replicas, they are still on my list.
LnA-Ipanema V-Neck $105. $100+ for a white t-shirt? Sure, if it spits money and does my taxes.
Comme Des Garcons- Plaid Scarf $515. Because it's not Christmas until you have a scarf that costs as much as half a years worth of health insurance.
Acne- Singer Knit Sweater $260. It's big, it's grey, its brand name reminds me of horribly blemished middle school pictures!
Chanel- Perfection Lumiere Foundation $55. For that amount of money I could just get a black-market face lift and sketchy laser peel, i.e. being blinded with a laser pointer behind a Big Lots and then harvested for kidneys.
3.1 Phillip Lim Pashli Satchel $895. In my defense, this is probably the cheapest bag I've ever really coveted. Hey, it could be a $64,000 Hermes! PS- It matches the SCARF people!
Ash-Titan Short Stud Biker Boots $491. Since I've recently started watching Sons of Anarchy, it's only appropriate to start dressing aggressively so no one can see the pain I feel knowing I'll never be cool enough to be in a biker gang. Bikers don't exfoliate, they don't like 60s French ye-ye pop, and above all they DO NOT cry during that part in Wall-E where he doesn't recognize Eve (soulless monsters!)
And last, but not least, if there art out a God up in heaven, smiling down upon his greatest creation. May he bestow upon her a 2013 Audi A5 in monsoon metallic grey with velvet beige leather interior. For I have no traffic infractions as of yet and would look really cool within it.
Like an unwanted display in Walgreens right after the 4th of July, I am debuting my incredibly unrealistic Christmas wishlist at the appropriate time of "it's not even Halloween yet, Emily!". This way if a sad billionaire sees it and take pity on me it might be my most successful Christmas haul since the last time my parents thought I deserved Christmas presents! Now, this is in no way supposed to make anyone feel poor or beneath me because I there is now way in hell I can afford these things, I just like them enough to want them in my closet without goings as far as brushing my teeth on paid webcams for weirdos.
Ance- Pistol Boots $570. You knew they'd be on here, and since Target has failed me in providing $30 replicas, they are still on my list.
LnA-Ipanema V-Neck $105. $100+ for a white t-shirt? Sure, if it spits money and does my taxes.
Comme Des Garcons- Plaid Scarf $515. Because it's not Christmas until you have a scarf that costs as much as half a years worth of health insurance.
Acne- Singer Knit Sweater $260. It's big, it's grey, its brand name reminds me of horribly blemished middle school pictures!
Chanel- Perfection Lumiere Foundation $55. For that amount of money I could just get a black-market face lift and sketchy laser peel, i.e. being blinded with a laser pointer behind a Big Lots and then harvested for kidneys.
3.1 Phillip Lim Pashli Satchel $895. In my defense, this is probably the cheapest bag I've ever really coveted. Hey, it could be a $64,000 Hermes! PS- It matches the SCARF people!
Ash-Titan Short Stud Biker Boots $491. Since I've recently started watching Sons of Anarchy, it's only appropriate to start dressing aggressively so no one can see the pain I feel knowing I'll never be cool enough to be in a biker gang. Bikers don't exfoliate, they don't like 60s French ye-ye pop, and above all they DO NOT cry during that part in Wall-E where he doesn't recognize Eve (soulless monsters!)
And last, but not least, if there art out a God up in heaven, smiling down upon his greatest creation. May he bestow upon her a 2013 Audi A5 in monsoon metallic grey with velvet beige leather interior. For I have no traffic infractions as of yet and would look really cool within it.
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