Cap It Off

Cap It Off by elbonner featuring pointed heels

I really like cap-toe shoes for fall/winter. It makes a plain shoe less boring, but not to gaudy. It's what a sexy, impractical construction worker would wear! I think they look best on flats and those bedroom loafer style shoes. I like things that keep it simple, but still make an impact. These shoes don't need 400,000 studs and spikes on them to look good; they know how to accessorize!

Sleepy Time

Sleep Time by elbonner featuring old navy pajamas

Hurricane Sandy has decided to make this Sunday the greyest, windiest day we've had in a long time and all it makes me want to do is sleep. I know I need to clean my shower and mop my kitchen floor, but falling asleep while pretending to read a book sounds so much more satisfying on a day like today. The house is stockpiled with tea, chocolate digestive biscuits, bread and stew so it's really only a matter of time until I'm lulled into afood and weather induced coma. 

When it comes to sleepwear I like to keep things simple and comfortable. I prefer dark and soft colors as opposed to bright and happy prints because the last thing I want to do when I'm tired is have to look at something that could possibly give someone a seizure. Cream, light blues, purples, blacks and greys are what I tend to move towards when I'm looking at sleepwear. Other than color I spend a lot of time finding things that are inhumanely soft and comfortable. No tags, nothing scratchy, just balls-to-the-wall comfort and softness. I then snuggle up in a super soft blanket, light a candle and snooze the day away. I read somewhere that jasmine scented things can replicate the kind of relaxation people feel after taking a Valium, so I've started anesthetizing myself from the world with lovely jasmine candles.I'm getting sleepy just writing this so I'm off for a nap everyone. Take it easy!

My "It's Never Gonna Happen" Christmas List!

"It's Never Gonna Happen" Christmas Wishlist by elbonner featuring studded boots

Like an unwanted display in Walgreens right after the 4th of July, I am debuting my incredibly unrealistic Christmas wishlist at the appropriate time of "it's not even Halloween yet, Emily!". This way if a sad billionaire sees it and take pity on me it might be my most successful Christmas haul since the last time my parents thought I deserved Christmas presents! Now, this is in no way supposed to make anyone feel poor or beneath me because I there is now way in hell I can afford these things, I just like them enough to want them in my closet without goings as far as brushing my teeth on paid webcams for weirdos.

Ance- Pistol Boots $570. You knew they'd be on here, and since Target has failed me in providing $30 replicas, they are still on my list.

LnA-Ipanema V-Neck $105. $100+ for a white t-shirt? Sure, if it spits money and does my taxes.

Comme Des Garcons- Plaid Scarf $515. Because it's not Christmas until you have a scarf that costs as much as half a years worth of health insurance.

Acne- Singer Knit Sweater $260. It's big, it's grey, its brand name reminds me of horribly blemished middle school pictures! 

Chanel- Perfection Lumiere Foundation $55. For that amount of money I could just get a black-market face lift and sketchy laser peel, i.e. being blinded with a laser pointer behind a Big Lots and then harvested for kidneys. 

3.1 Phillip Lim Pashli Satchel $895. In my defense, this is probably the cheapest bag I've ever really coveted. Hey, it could be a $64,000 Hermes! PS- It matches the SCARF people!

Ash-Titan Short Stud Biker Boots $491. Since I've recently started watching Sons of Anarchy, it's only appropriate to start dressing aggressively so no one can see the pain I feel knowing I'll never be cool enough to be in a biker gang. Bikers don't exfoliate, they don't like 60s French ye-ye pop, and above all they DO NOT cry during that part in Wall-E where he doesn't recognize Eve (soulless monsters!)

And last, but not least, if there art out a God up in heaven, smiling down upon his greatest creation. May he bestow upon her a 2013 Audi A5 in monsoon metallic grey with velvet beige leather interior. For I have no traffic infractions as of yet and would look really cool within it. 

 

Merry Not-That-Close-To-Christmas everyone!

New Jacket!

My boyfriend is the greatest and bought me a new fall jacket while he was getting a new one. This is the Crinan jacket from Fjällräven and I've wanted it forever, but it was a bit pricey for me so I held off on it. Fjällräven is a Swedish outdoor clothing company that has been around for a super long time. This jacket is pretty basic, but I have a feeling the older and more beat-up it gets the better it will look. It's army green, water repellant, and has a fox patch on the arm which pretty much sold it for me. If you've got the extra dough or want a really good outdoor coat then head on over to fjällräven.com and have a look for yourself.

Fall Nails

Fall Nails by elbonner featuring essie nailpolish

Fall nail polishes are always so nice. They just make you look polished (hur hur) and put together. In the summer I tend to have LSD enthusiast  Malibu Barbie nail colors that are very bright and in your face. In the fall I come down from my neon high and wear a lot of nudes, grey, and blacks because they go with almost everything and can make you look chic or edgy. These colors above are my favorite falls colors as of now. Who the hell knows if something might come along and rip all of these a new one, but these are my flavors of the moment:

Oyster Shell-MAC (fall 2011 color)
Lincoln Park After Dark- OPI
My Private Jet- OPI
Taint- Illamasqua
Samoan Sand- OPI
School Of Hard Knocks- Essie
Chinchilly- Essie
Storm Bird- NARS

Das Boot!

Das Boot! by elbonner featuring kitten heels

I effing love boots. I am not discriminatory against any of them unless they have heinous rhinestones. My favorites are Chelsea boots, which make everything very dapper and on point. They make the most ripped up jeans look like formal wear and make the cutesiest dresses look bad ass. Here are a few of my favorite boots for this season. Just click the links below to view my shoe porn up close! Those western print mini western boots are almost worth losing a toe!

Black Chelsea Boot- Topshop
Ethnic Print Boot- Zara
Engineer 8R Boot- Frye
Carson Tall Tab Boots- Frye
Aukes Combat Boot-ALDO
ALIEN Chunk Fringe Boot- Topshop

I Want Your Life: Ulyana Sergeenko

Ulyana Sergeenko by elbonner on Polyvore

Not only does this woman have a beautiful collection of dresses, skirts, and coats, she's got banging personal style that is reflected in her designs. I am convinced that Catherine Devenue's character in Doctor Zhivago was based off of Ulyana Sergeenko because her style is very tzarist Russia. She designs lots of long, full dresses and skirts and uses a lot of floral prints. It's like what classy Russian serfs would have worn if they weren't dirt poor and starving. And though I am totally not into wearing any sort of fur, she makes a lot of beautiful long fur coats and dresses that would be great if only they were faux. She always has on red lipstick and makes everyone else look over done yet under-dressed. She is just elegant and totally unique and I want all of her clothes.

Give It To Me!

Isabel Marant does it again. Where are those winning lottery numbers?!

A Desperate Plea to Isabel Marant: Please Adopt Me.

Isabel Marant by elbonner featuring super skinny jeans

I want everything from Isabel Marant's collections. Whenever I come across something new from her I face-palm
 and say "Damnit Emily, why are you poor?!". This is pretty much what every cool Parisian is seen wearing and I like it because it's mostly simple pieces, but they just ooze originality and cool. Those burgundy boots just look like something Blanche Devereaux would have worn out on a hot date with a retired Navy admiral. I love that her pieces have taken on this feminine western gypsy vibe, it's great for fall and great for every situation ever, no questions. Well, that's about it for now. I have to go back to rethinking my life choices and how low I'll stoop to get those embroidered jeans. Lie back and think of Isabel Marant! (joking...)

Plaid Is Rad

Plaid Is Rad by elbonner featuring gap

It may have been nearly 90 degrees with 80% humidity today in my city, but that didn't stop me from thinking about something I love about fall: PLAID. Plaid is great because it can look comfortable, edgy, traditional and elegant. It really is a versatile print. I really want to be one of those people who are brave enough to jump on the cape train because I think they are really fun and are essentially a giant blanket. You can also whirl around in it and feel like you're in a movie about olden times. Plaid pants are also something that I'm into after a long post middle school bondage pants phase hiatus (oh dear) that I thought would turn me off from plaid pants forever. I saw a post on a street style site a few nights ago and cannot find the picture to save my life, but this girl renewed my passion for plaid pants; pairing them with a long black wool coat, a white t-shirt, and black Chelsea boots. Super simple, but amped up by the raid plaid pants. Plaid is a great print to add to any outfit; the beauty is in it's versatility and I think everyone should buy a ticket for the plaid express!