Thanksgiving Friendly Outfits

Thanksgiving Friendly Outfits by elbonner featuring knit sweaters

Thanksgiving and gluttony go hand-in-hand which means your cute new jeans and horizontally-striped sweater might feel like a clingy, cotton-blended prison once all that rich food has been stuffed in your gob.  The answer to the age old question"what outfit can I get away with that's as comfortable as pajamas, but better looking than a prison jumpsuit?". The answer are structured leggings, flowy tops, and chunky sweaters. ALL of these things are on trend and always look chic if paired correctly. Just remember, the rule is if you're wearing just plain stretchy leggings, your top needs to go over your butt/crutch or else you will look like you've forgotten to wear pants. With structured leggings (ones that look like real pants) you can get away with basically wearing stretch pants and still looking good. Structured leggings are called that because they have details that make them more than just stretchy pants: zippers, paneling, rivets, and even prints can keep you from looking like an uncoordinated ballet teacher and the outfits above show how leggings can look holiday appropriate. So go ahead, have another slice of pie, you've got the room!

L-R
Acne sweater, River Island panel leggings, Frye boots
Equipment shirt, H&M leggings, Topshop boots
Rag & Bone sweater, Seven For All Mankind jeggings, Isabel Marant boots

My "It's Never Gonna Happen" Christmas List!

"It's Never Gonna Happen" Christmas Wishlist by elbonner featuring studded boots

Like an unwanted display in Walgreens right after the 4th of July, I am debuting my incredibly unrealistic Christmas wishlist at the appropriate time of "it's not even Halloween yet, Emily!". This way if a sad billionaire sees it and take pity on me it might be my most successful Christmas haul since the last time my parents thought I deserved Christmas presents! Now, this is in no way supposed to make anyone feel poor or beneath me because I there is now way in hell I can afford these things, I just like them enough to want them in my closet without goings as far as brushing my teeth on paid webcams for weirdos.

Ance- Pistol Boots $570. You knew they'd be on here, and since Target has failed me in providing $30 replicas, they are still on my list.

LnA-Ipanema V-Neck $105. $100+ for a white t-shirt? Sure, if it spits money and does my taxes.

Comme Des Garcons- Plaid Scarf $515. Because it's not Christmas until you have a scarf that costs as much as half a years worth of health insurance.

Acne- Singer Knit Sweater $260. It's big, it's grey, its brand name reminds me of horribly blemished middle school pictures! 

Chanel- Perfection Lumiere Foundation $55. For that amount of money I could just get a black-market face lift and sketchy laser peel, i.e. being blinded with a laser pointer behind a Big Lots and then harvested for kidneys. 

3.1 Phillip Lim Pashli Satchel $895. In my defense, this is probably the cheapest bag I've ever really coveted. Hey, it could be a $64,000 Hermes! PS- It matches the SCARF people!

Ash-Titan Short Stud Biker Boots $491. Since I've recently started watching Sons of Anarchy, it's only appropriate to start dressing aggressively so no one can see the pain I feel knowing I'll never be cool enough to be in a biker gang. Bikers don't exfoliate, they don't like 60s French ye-ye pop, and above all they DO NOT cry during that part in Wall-E where he doesn't recognize Eve (soulless monsters!)

And last, but not least, if there art out a God up in heaven, smiling down upon his greatest creation. May he bestow upon her a 2013 Audi A5 in monsoon metallic grey with velvet beige leather interior. For I have no traffic infractions as of yet and would look really cool within it. 

 

Merry Not-That-Close-To-Christmas everyone!

Give Me Your Life, Damnit: Caroline De Maigret

Caroline De Maigret by elbonner on Polyvore

Caroline De Maigret is like the Francoise Hardy of today. She's into rock'n'roll, she has bangs, she wears cool clothes and she's French as all hell. I love her style because she can be slouchy, but sophisticated and dressed up but not ridiculous looking. Her go-to outfit is just perfectly fitting jeans, a t-shirt and a great jacket. I really wish I had more jackets, they really tie outfits together and give you more pockets to put snacks in! She has perfectly messy hair and just oozes cafe au lait and baguettes. She's on instagram so you can follow her @carodemaigret and lust after her Frenchness and leather jackets. Ugh c'est la vie absolument!!

People I Would Have Stalked In A Past Life: Francoise Hardy

Francoise Hardy by elbonner featuring nars cosmetics

Staying with the whole French thing, I disclose one of my most treasured style icons. Francoise Hardy is pretty much the coolest person ever; I love her music and her style and she just exudes cool. I strive to look as fabulous is t-shirts and jeans as she did, but I continue to fail! Francoise whole appeal was effortlessly chic, something the French do very well. There's something about spending your days eating great food, looking cool, and having no expectations of being nice to people that appeals to me. And how they do that with all that cheese and wine I have no idea. Most cheese and wine encounters I have usually end up somewhere on or around the toilet, so maybe that's why they're all so thin. That's it, I've solved the mystery! You really can't go wrong with a loose blouse, jeans, leather jacket, and ankle boots. It always looks good, and since most of these items are really in this season you can find them allover the place at reasonable prices. Finish off your look with a liquid liner cat-eye and you're good to go. Just don't be like me and mess up a thousand times with practically immovable black liquid liner residue, smudged all over my face resulting in everyone asking you later that night if I've been domestically abused.

What I Would Wear to NY Fashion Week...If It Was Cold

NY Fashion Week by elbonner featuring beaded tops

Etro beaded top / H&M super skinny jeans, $32 / Acne leather boots / Proenza Schouler satchel handbag, $1,945 / Kenneth Jay Lane gold jewelry, $68

New York Fashion Week couldn't come at an unsexier time of the year. It's still hot here on the east coast and everyone is just sick of the heat and how it ruins anything where you have to be in a crowd of hot sweaty people. You're caught between seasons which really throws a wrench into your outfit creating because you don't know which season to go for. Should you prolong that summertime feeling and look like you're going to Coachella in last seasons clothes (barf!), or go for it and risk Visible Butt Sweat in fall clothing while schmoozing with the fashion elite (I bet Anne Wintour hates people with VBS). I'm at the point in my wardrobe where I'm just ready for fall to get here already. I've poked holes in all of my thin summer shirts, I've gotten weird stains on all of my shorts, my flip-flops and sandals all have dirty feet outlines in them; it's time for new stuff. 

I think they should push NY Fashion Week back a few weeks. Just have it in October! We're all ready for new stuff and nothing makes someone who's life revolves around keeping up with the trends life suck more than wearing your summer deodorant-stained $150 t-shirt at a show reminding you you're already behind the times! So this outfit is a bit early in it's makeup, but would be great if they had Fashion Week at a reasonable time... LIKE OCTOBER!

Blouse by Etro

Jeans from H&M

Ring from Kenneth Jay Lane

PS1 Bag from Proenza Schouler

Pistol Boots from Acne

Mexi Melt

Mexi Melt by elbonner featuring fringe handbags

Knit sweater / Free People denim jacket / Big Buddha boots / TOMS shoes / Free People fringe handbag / Miss Selfridge gold jewelry

I really, really like all of this Mexican blanket/aztec print stuff that has slowly been trickling out for the past few weeks. There's a plethora of southwest inspired bags on Free People that are perfect, but a bit on the pricey side. If you've got cash to spare then go for it, but this trend is growing so don't be surprised to find similar things popping up in Target. I love the denim jacket and the ring. Toms has come out with a bunch of tribal print shoes that are great for long fall walks. And seriously, how cute are those ankle boots form Big Buddha? COME ON! They've all got a sort of California/Baja cool that I may never fully achieve in this lifetime, but with pieces like these I can look in the mirror, shoot myself the double guns, and feel more awesome than Uncle Jesse.